I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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