We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
