if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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