You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
