yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
