I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I see more hoeing in ur future
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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