now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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