Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
