Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
