sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
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I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.