ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again