well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room