We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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