margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
