It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize