did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
