There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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