God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
