I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
