sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
