so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize