If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
