i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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