How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
