Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
