1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
