I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize