Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
