we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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