So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
