oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
