I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
