YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
