i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
