i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize