I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
