i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
