At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
