whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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