im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
