I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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