Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm at about main and main street
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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