I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
