explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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