are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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