I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
