I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
