I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
