i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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