the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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