I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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