Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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