That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
