Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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