Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
