there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize