gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
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I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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